I don’t want to leave you,
but if God calls me
I hope that you understand
that I can’t say no.
I will always be with you,
if you keep me in your heart
and in your thoughts,
I will never be gone.
I am fitting with all that I have to get better.
I hate this cancer,
I hate that is hurting you.
I promised you that I will be strong
and that I will fight,
but please understand
that if God calls me
I can't say no.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A Poem
I am not going to sit and cry
Even though at this time,
the world is passing me by
Because even though I may be ill
The world is still here,
and at least I have a chance of fighting it through
It won't be long before
I have kicked its arse
And be sat looking,
proudly at my scars
These times will seem so far away
So I am not going 2 waste no more memories on a bad day! .....................Karen Liversedge 12/10/10
Even though at this time,
the world is passing me by
Because even though I may be ill
The world is still here,
and at least I have a chance of fighting it through
It won't be long before
I have kicked its arse
And be sat looking,
proudly at my scars
These times will seem so far away
So I am not going 2 waste no more memories on a bad day! .....................Karen Liversedge 12/10/10
Saturday, April 23, 2011
4/23/11
It's 9:30 Saturday night,and I'm feeling pretty good. The nurses have been playing with my medications and it seems to have done some good. At first the dosage wasen't enough and I wanted to die ASAP. Then it went too far,and I slept for almost four days straight (grrrrr). She decreased it some Friday, and when my head somewhat cleared, here I am!!! Almost ready to go dance (ha,ha,ha,)
The medication in my pac is a mixture of pain killers which includes Dilaudid every 30 minutes. Also I take a tab called Dexamethason (for brain swelling). And oh yea, heres a joke,,They give me a Happy pill every day !! (not really working).
Did anyone know that all that pain killer stuff makes you constipated? Well I do now!! Thank goodness for prune juice and milk of magnesian (16oz. + 2tbls mixed). The pills they gave me for it did't work. I'll stick with the home remedys.
I gots me a hair cut !! Nicer to take care of I guess. It dont part worth a darn tho.
The tattoos are new too, (do not resusatate)same on both sides of my neck, so the paramedics can see and understand, just let me go to my LORD !!
Looking for all these keys on here makes my eyes sore, so I think I'll sign off soon, but I like checking in here sometimes. I don't really remember all that I've written down in this blog thing. so I'm sorry if I have repeted myself a bit.
Friends,,,hug and kiss your loved ones, forgive an enemy, praise our GOD, and STAY healthy !!
Bill
(Whisper)
Monday, April 11, 2011
04/11/11
Now darn it !!!
Larry needs a loving inside new home !! He's a great doggie,house trained,has alot of training,used to go to work with me, problem is that Larry cant read nor wright,talk nor do math.(yes I'm having one of those few good days)
My Lil' brother's doggie decided that she wanted to be the alpha doggie at her home,so that didnt work too well.No falt of Ron,Bailey,Larry,no me,,just life.
My Lady friend is taking care of larry rite now,but she has 2 other doggies now.They are basicly outside doggies,and Larry is'nt.(my fault)
Where I live now, I have to take him for walks all the time and CRAP !! I can't hardly walk nowdays.
For my own heart and Larry's too. We need help!!!
He's 3 years old,around 75 lbs,hairy,white,brown,tan,and a little black.Part Aussie shepard and part Pit bull(the Aussie is the predominant one).Lays,sits,stays,fetchs,tugs,Shakes paws,stands up and boxes (both paws).
Jill has been trying to get him to talk a little,but he dosent seem to have much to say yet,But just wait,,,he will someday!
I'm not asking for $$$,,just a good home and peice of mind for us both,Please call or e-mail me if u have any questions. Or maybe just suggestions on what I may do.
BTW,today it's 4am monday and I'm doing good this morning,Hospice delevered a new machine yesterday,and some techs are going to install it today. I pray this is gonna work!! And I pray that none of you have to ever go thru this stuff!!
Remember,,hug your loved ones,rub your pets,make a new friend,make up with an enemy,and praise our LORD!!!
Bill
(Whisper)
Larry needs a loving inside new home !! He's a great doggie,house trained,has alot of training,used to go to work with me, problem is that Larry cant read nor wright,talk nor do math.(yes I'm having one of those few good days)
My Lil' brother's doggie decided that she wanted to be the alpha doggie at her home,so that didnt work too well.No falt of Ron,Bailey,Larry,no me,,just life.
My Lady friend is taking care of larry rite now,but she has 2 other doggies now.They are basicly outside doggies,and Larry is'nt.(my fault)
Where I live now, I have to take him for walks all the time and CRAP !! I can't hardly walk nowdays.
For my own heart and Larry's too. We need help!!!
He's 3 years old,around 75 lbs,hairy,white,brown,tan,and a little black.Part Aussie shepard and part Pit bull(the Aussie is the predominant one).Lays,sits,stays,fetchs,tugs,Shakes paws,stands up and boxes (both paws).
Jill has been trying to get him to talk a little,but he dosent seem to have much to say yet,But just wait,,,he will someday!
BTW,today it's 4am monday and I'm doing good this morning,Hospice delevered a new machine yesterday,and some techs are going to install it today. I pray this is gonna work!! And I pray that none of you have to ever go thru this stuff!!
Remember,,hug your loved ones,rub your pets,make a new friend,make up with an enemy,and praise our LORD!!!
Bill
(Whisper)
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
March 31st and last thoughts
This is just a few thoughts while I'm able to realize what I'm thinking and able to put them down..
Jill,,,Feb.16th,when we met again after 11 years.Has been some of the best days of my life.I still don't understand why you are here by my side.It's not my good looks nor any far flung promisied future. I love you.
Tim,,, The bestist student anyone toolmaker could hope to ever have.I know that your not folling thu with the training,but at this point and time you could keep up with some of the best. Sorry I never met your lady.
Uncle Bill,,,We have been thru thick and thin together,and it was all very good.I know that you have been calling a few times a week,but please just remember the good times.Kiss Ma Ma for me,she's a great lady..
Tanya,,We never met in person,but with a father like Uncle Bill,you just have to be a great lady..Hug those kids and your old man for me,Please..Matt 6:34
Chris,,,You have always been there for me.I whish that I could say the same,We had good times and bad.But you were in my heart.Kiss that Charlie for me and a big hug to Hoss..
Amiee,,,Ah that smile!! You have no idea how happy you made me when I would see your bright face in the morning at work..And of course those Star Bucks cookie things.
Mr.Jay,,,I think it was a God send,when I saw your add on line.I have never worked with anyone that I enjoyed so much,
Thank you for putting up with me and Larry the dog.I was soo suprised about 5&diner at the hosp. Wished we could have done it again,but health said no,,Grrr I'm gonna keep my eye on you,,hahahah
Cindy & Chris,,Great friends,good parties,nice bike,and always good thoughts,Great machinest,Keep Texas on their toes!!!
Rhonda,,,What can I say?Youve been someone special in my heart and told me to share these experiences whith those who might care.You have called at my worst times and brought me around a little.Jill likes you too.Give those doggies and your husband belly rubbs for me.
Steve,,,I didnt know you were on here ,,sorry,,I guess by now you have read my short story Now you know.Tell the guys at work Hi & bye for me,
For those of you that read this but didnt choose to follow,,thats ok,I wish you would have.
Take care and GOD bless,
Bill
Jill,,,Feb.16th,when we met again after 11 years.Has been some of the best days of my life.I still don't understand why you are here by my side.It's not my good looks nor any far flung promisied future. I love you.
Tim,,, The bestist student anyone toolmaker could hope to ever have.I know that your not folling thu with the training,but at this point and time you could keep up with some of the best. Sorry I never met your lady.
Uncle Bill,,,We have been thru thick and thin together,and it was all very good.I know that you have been calling a few times a week,but please just remember the good times.Kiss Ma Ma for me,she's a great lady..
Tanya,,We never met in person,but with a father like Uncle Bill,you just have to be a great lady..Hug those kids and your old man for me,Please..Matt 6:34
Chris,,,You have always been there for me.I whish that I could say the same,We had good times and bad.But you were in my heart.Kiss that Charlie for me and a big hug to Hoss..
Amiee,,,Ah that smile!! You have no idea how happy you made me when I would see your bright face in the morning at work..And of course those Star Bucks cookie things.
Mr.Jay,,,I think it was a God send,when I saw your add on line.I have never worked with anyone that I enjoyed so much,
Thank you for putting up with me and Larry the dog.I was soo suprised about 5&diner at the hosp. Wished we could have done it again,but health said no,,Grrr I'm gonna keep my eye on you,,hahahah
Cindy & Chris,,Great friends,good parties,nice bike,and always good thoughts,Great machinest,Keep Texas on their toes!!!
Rhonda,,,What can I say?Youve been someone special in my heart and told me to share these experiences whith those who might care.You have called at my worst times and brought me around a little.Jill likes you too.Give those doggies and your husband belly rubbs for me.
Steve,,,I didnt know you were on here ,,sorry,,I guess by now you have read my short story Now you know.Tell the guys at work Hi & bye for me,
For those of you that read this but didnt choose to follow,,thats ok,I wish you would have.
Take care and GOD bless,
Bill
Monday, March 21, 2011
march 21st 2011
This past week was bad. Health wise. Hospice has me taking more meds and morphine every hour.
When I stand up I get really dizzie, Saturday Jill helped me walk around some like I was some drunk.
Sunday, I had my first real seizure, It sucked!! Larry the dog stayed beside me all the time.Then The trowing up started,that sucks too.
I guess that the seizure is the first of many.Then the tumor will push harder against my brain, and the insainity will begin. By then.Hospice says they can keep me asleep most of the time.
I am having trouble hitting these keys some times so this might be my last entry.
Remember !!! Kiss and hug your loved ones,pet your animals,cause they love you,forgive an enemy.
GOD has a plan for us all,we dont know what it might be,,we just need to accept it and follow it.
Bill
When I stand up I get really dizzie, Saturday Jill helped me walk around some like I was some drunk.
Sunday, I had my first real seizure, It sucked!! Larry the dog stayed beside me all the time.Then The trowing up started,that sucks too.
I guess that the seizure is the first of many.Then the tumor will push harder against my brain, and the insainity will begin. By then.Hospice says they can keep me asleep most of the time.
I am having trouble hitting these keys some times so this might be my last entry.
Remember !!! Kiss and hug your loved ones,pet your animals,cause they love you,forgive an enemy.
GOD has a plan for us all,we dont know what it might be,,we just need to accept it and follow it.
Bill
Saturday, March 5, 2011
March 5th 11
Hi friends:
Well here I go again.Thursday morning,I went and had that PET scan done. Radition and all..(and no Larry the dog wase'nt involved).
Friday,I went to Banner Good Sam.and had a 3 hour MRI.with and without dye.
Later that day I saw the radition doc. and he explained the results of the scans..CRAP !!!! The tumor the brain surgen took out after Christmas is back and the same size !!(4cm) The tumor in my left lung is just a little larger(11cm},so smoking aint the problem!! The PET scan found a few more,
The right adrenal gland is totally cancerous and non functional.It also found a small tumor near my colon(I thought I was done with that one).
I sort of cornered the doc. in my own sweet way, and requested a time line.At first he wanted to do full rad.treatment to give me a few months,I told him that he was nothing but a darned salesman, praying on peoples hopes.
After we got that crap out of the way,I was told about 2 months would be about it.The lung wouldn't do me in, but the brain tumor would get so painful that I would soon become an invalid and insane(oh well).
The silly doctor finally gave up trying to make more money and had Hospice of the Valley contact me.
Friday late afternoon a very nice lady from hospice came by the house to interview me. I guess she needed to know about me and Larry, so she could set me up with a nurse that we could get along with.
Monday,hospice is sending a social worker here to get my brother Ron,and my friend Rich,to sign paper work for my care,meds,and money.Larry can't sign his name yet,so I have to have a neighbor sign as a witness.
I have decided to have absoulty hospital stuff again.So all the paper work involves DO NOT RESUSATATE. There will be a doctor visiting when the nurses cant do certian things.
Cool !! when it gets really bad,,he can give me DILAUDID.
I have already filled out forms,that when I get stupid,they are to keep me asleep untill I pass.And they can do that
Enough about that stuff right now..Please,,,for me,,
Kiss and hug your spouse,,think hard before you scold the kids,talk to old friends,and say a prayer for everyone you know,,,
Looks like I have only about 6 weeks to keep this blog going,(I'll get really stupid on here)so I guess I better wright more often.
Just something to think about,,some days I feel too good to die,but think about the people in bike wrecks that felt good too.
Love you all
Well here I go again.Thursday morning,I went and had that PET scan done. Radition and all..(and no Larry the dog wase'nt involved).
Friday,I went to Banner Good Sam.and had a 3 hour MRI.with and without dye.
Later that day I saw the radition doc. and he explained the results of the scans..CRAP !!!! The tumor the brain surgen took out after Christmas is back and the same size !!(4cm) The tumor in my left lung is just a little larger(11cm},so smoking aint the problem!! The PET scan found a few more,
The right adrenal gland is totally cancerous and non functional.It also found a small tumor near my colon(I thought I was done with that one).
I sort of cornered the doc. in my own sweet way, and requested a time line.At first he wanted to do full rad.treatment to give me a few months,I told him that he was nothing but a darned salesman, praying on peoples hopes.
After we got that crap out of the way,I was told about 2 months would be about it.The lung wouldn't do me in, but the brain tumor would get so painful that I would soon become an invalid and insane(oh well).
The silly doctor finally gave up trying to make more money and had Hospice of the Valley contact me.
Friday late afternoon a very nice lady from hospice came by the house to interview me. I guess she needed to know about me and Larry, so she could set me up with a nurse that we could get along with.
Monday,hospice is sending a social worker here to get my brother Ron,and my friend Rich,to sign paper work for my care,meds,and money.Larry can't sign his name yet,so I have to have a neighbor sign as a witness.
I have decided to have absoulty hospital stuff again.So all the paper work involves DO NOT RESUSATATE. There will be a doctor visiting when the nurses cant do certian things.
Cool !! when it gets really bad,,he can give me DILAUDID.
I have already filled out forms,that when I get stupid,they are to keep me asleep untill I pass.And they can do that
Enough about that stuff right now..Please,,,for me,,
Kiss and hug your spouse,,think hard before you scold the kids,talk to old friends,and say a prayer for everyone you know,,,
Looks like I have only about 6 weeks to keep this blog going,(I'll get really stupid on here)so I guess I better wright more often.
Just something to think about,,some days I feel too good to die,but think about the people in bike wrecks that felt good too.
Love you all
Monday, February 28, 2011
Feb.28th 2011
Hi friends;
Sorry about not adding anything latley,but there just hasent been anything..
Well maybe there has been,,A lady friend (ex-wife),contacted me on Facebook,,,COOL !! I was concerned about meeting up with her but Hey!! what did I have to lose?
It's been great so far, Jill dosent ask anything of me and I dont ask anything of her..Seems like we should have stayed together thru all those years past.
Saturday, we went to that Lost Dutchmans thing in Apache Juction. A very dear friend of mine was playing on stage all afternoon !! If anyone can get a chance to see him and his band,,PLEASE do !! Also we met up with my bestist friend,,Bill..He looked great !!! Jill and I danced one dance and walked around abit,Then I spoiled things by getting tired,,,Grrrrr
The headaches are still sneaking up on me(maybe 'cause I cut back on my meds). And now I'm starting to feel the crap in my chest,,Seems like I'm breathing alittle faster to get my air. And my left side of my chest feels alittle heaver(like someone is pressing on me). Oh well one day at a time,Right?
I taught Larry the dog to stay off my bed, 'cause now I call him Harry Larry( he's shedding all over!!).He will be going to my lil' brothers home when I'm gone and he dosent allow his doggie on the bed.But now,when I get undressed for the night Larry scrunches up my clothes and sleeps on them.What a dog I have !!
I miss all of my friends, and wish I could share time with you all..To those that have called,,Thank you..To those of you that take the time to comment,,Thank you too..I love reading them !!
Please remember,,make your peace with GOD now !!! You just never know (do you?). I did along time ago,even when some people didnt see it that way.In the book of Matthew,chapter 6,,Jesus told his buddies that they shouldnt run around prayin and singing so's everyone could hear,,Only GOD needs to hear you,( it goes something like that)
I'll try to get on here alittle more if my friends wanna read
Love you all !!!
Sorry about not adding anything latley,but there just hasent been anything..
Well maybe there has been,,A lady friend (ex-wife),contacted me on Facebook,,,COOL !! I was concerned about meeting up with her but Hey!! what did I have to lose?
It's been great so far, Jill dosent ask anything of me and I dont ask anything of her..Seems like we should have stayed together thru all those years past.
Saturday, we went to that Lost Dutchmans thing in Apache Juction. A very dear friend of mine was playing on stage all afternoon !! If anyone can get a chance to see him and his band,,PLEASE do !! Also we met up with my bestist friend,,Bill..He looked great !!! Jill and I danced one dance and walked around abit,Then I spoiled things by getting tired,,,Grrrrr
The headaches are still sneaking up on me(maybe 'cause I cut back on my meds). And now I'm starting to feel the crap in my chest,,Seems like I'm breathing alittle faster to get my air. And my left side of my chest feels alittle heaver(like someone is pressing on me). Oh well one day at a time,Right?
I taught Larry the dog to stay off my bed, 'cause now I call him Harry Larry( he's shedding all over!!).He will be going to my lil' brothers home when I'm gone and he dosent allow his doggie on the bed.But now,when I get undressed for the night Larry scrunches up my clothes and sleeps on them.What a dog I have !!
I miss all of my friends, and wish I could share time with you all..To those that have called,,Thank you..To those of you that take the time to comment,,Thank you too..I love reading them !!
Please remember,,make your peace with GOD now !!! You just never know (do you?). I did along time ago,even when some people didnt see it that way.In the book of Matthew,chapter 6,,Jesus told his buddies that they shouldnt run around prayin and singing so's everyone could hear,,Only GOD needs to hear you,( it goes something like that)
I'll try to get on here alittle more if my friends wanna read
Love you all !!!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Feb.16th 2011
Well I've always been able to pick myself up and dust myself off thru anything that has been delt to me. I've handeled all the trials and tribulations as they have come.
But this one is something I can't overcome.....I have given up !!
My tools have been sold(thanks Jay),my truck and trailer have been transfered to a friend(enjoy them Rich),all my guns are gone(Lil' brother has most),I only have two weeks worth of clothing(less laundry),my cremation has been set-up and prepaid. I feel that all things are in order..
Feb.14th. I went to see my brain surgen one last time. As far as he was concerned,if I didn't do radiation or chemo,he no longer had a reason to see me. At least he's not a salesman !!!
Pain med.s are doing good so far,,I will need one of those oxygen makers in time.But thats down the road I guess.
With all the people that wanted to hear about this crap,,It's surprising that I have so few followers or comments...Oh well.
My nose is starting to run alot and there's a familar pain starting in my head just like before the surgery.CRAP !!
I pray every night that I won't wake up in the morning.But God just dosen't need me just yet I guess. I might seem like a coward, but I don't want the pain that I've heard about.
But this one is something I can't overcome.....I have given up !!
My tools have been sold(thanks Jay),my truck and trailer have been transfered to a friend(enjoy them Rich),all my guns are gone(Lil' brother has most),I only have two weeks worth of clothing(less laundry),my cremation has been set-up and prepaid. I feel that all things are in order..
Feb.14th. I went to see my brain surgen one last time. As far as he was concerned,if I didn't do radiation or chemo,he no longer had a reason to see me. At least he's not a salesman !!!
Pain med.s are doing good so far,,I will need one of those oxygen makers in time.But thats down the road I guess.
With all the people that wanted to hear about this crap,,It's surprising that I have so few followers or comments...Oh well.
My nose is starting to run alot and there's a familar pain starting in my head just like before the surgery.CRAP !!
I pray every night that I won't wake up in the morning.But God just dosen't need me just yet I guess. I might seem like a coward, but I don't want the pain that I've heard about.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Feb.07/11
Well,it's Monday morning and I get to see my brain surgen this afternoon. Big deal,,,
I've been thinking all weekend about stupid things. Like when a person gets sick:
Why does family back off and leave the caring part to a friend? Heck,, I've known family all my life, and the friend who stands beside me,only 5 years.
Why do some people try to lay a guilt trip on you when they already know you're down?There is a drama queen in my life that dosent seem to wanna be anything but a hero,,give me a break !!
Why do the gov.offices take so darn long to respond?Stage 4 is stage 4,,,I never heard of stage 5,,have you??
Why aren't more young guys getting into my trade? I have lots of tools for sale.
Why does Larry the dog stay within 10 feet of me all the time?? Does he know something nobody else does?
Why does the time release morphine kick my butt in the dirt for 2 days straight?
Why am I thinking these stupid things?I know whats happening,and I'm good with it.I just it would be over with.
I've been thinking all weekend about stupid things. Like when a person gets sick:
Why does family back off and leave the caring part to a friend? Heck,, I've known family all my life, and the friend who stands beside me,only 5 years.
Why do some people try to lay a guilt trip on you when they already know you're down?There is a drama queen in my life that dosent seem to wanna be anything but a hero,,give me a break !!
Why do the gov.offices take so darn long to respond?Stage 4 is stage 4,,,I never heard of stage 5,,have you??
Why aren't more young guys getting into my trade? I have lots of tools for sale.
Why does Larry the dog stay within 10 feet of me all the time?? Does he know something nobody else does?
Why does the time release morphine kick my butt in the dirt for 2 days straight?
Why am I thinking these stupid things?I know whats happening,and I'm good with it.I just it would be over with.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Feb.5 11
Here we go,,,
A lady I used to know took me to my oncologist (salesman) on friday. He was full of promise and hope for a little more time.He offered radiation to my brain and my lung so I might last a little longer,or just maintnence meds if I decided to do without the radation.Remember folks !!! He's a salesman !! He makes his money by supplying false hope when he knows that stage 4 is it..
I have been up since 2 am this morning, chatting with people on different sights,And now I've made my concrete decision,,,,NO RADIATION,nor CHEMO !!!!
Why put off the invevitable and let the salesmen make their $..???
The lady I used to know sat there and listened to the salesman,and was upset with me when we were done.She dosent think that I am as sick as I am,,,oh well.
Monday,I go back to my brain surgen for a check up.He dosent sugar coat a darn thing,,I like his style and his bedside manner.He makes his $ on surgery,not false hope.I tend to believe him.
GOD,,I wish people would accept this as I have and let me have my good days and my bad.I'm not asking for anything other than understanding.GOD forbid,,once you have been here,,you'll understand.
A lady I used to know took me to my oncologist (salesman) on friday. He was full of promise and hope for a little more time.He offered radiation to my brain and my lung so I might last a little longer,or just maintnence meds if I decided to do without the radation.Remember folks !!! He's a salesman !! He makes his money by supplying false hope when he knows that stage 4 is it..
I have been up since 2 am this morning, chatting with people on different sights,And now I've made my concrete decision,,,,NO RADIATION,nor CHEMO !!!!
Why put off the invevitable and let the salesmen make their $..???
The lady I used to know sat there and listened to the salesman,and was upset with me when we were done.She dosent think that I am as sick as I am,,,oh well.
Monday,I go back to my brain surgen for a check up.He dosent sugar coat a darn thing,,I like his style and his bedside manner.He makes his $ on surgery,not false hope.I tend to believe him.
GOD,,I wish people would accept this as I have and let me have my good days and my bad.I'm not asking for anything other than understanding.GOD forbid,,once you have been here,,you'll understand.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Feb.3 11
On Feb.1st I woke up feeling great !! A lady that I used to know, came by around 10:00 to help with appointments. I gotts to feeling rough so I took another 1 of those morphene pills.An hour later,I was in la,la land.My Mother came by and I don't even remember it.Grrrr.
I stayed in bed from Tue. till late Wed. afternoon.What a waste of time !!!
I ordered 2 pizzas Wed. night and the delivery guy called 3 times..Boy was he ever lost !! On the third time,almost 2 hr.had gone by,so I told him that he just bought himself 2 pizzas and just go back to the pizza shop.Meanwhile,I called the pizza place and explained the problem.The manager got on the phone and apologized.With my customer #,he knew that I've been ordering from them for at least 5 years.He asked if I still wanted the pizzas and I said yup.As long as they weren't the first ones..In 30min.they arrived and the driver said ''NO CHARGE!!!!'' Gotta love Papa Johns !!
Friday morning,I have an appointment with the Radiation Doctor in Phx...The way things are going,I hope he can blast this thing in my head.Now I just gotta find a ride.
Again,,,anybody wanna buy some machinist tool??
I stayed in bed from Tue. till late Wed. afternoon.What a waste of time !!!
I ordered 2 pizzas Wed. night and the delivery guy called 3 times..Boy was he ever lost !! On the third time,almost 2 hr.had gone by,so I told him that he just bought himself 2 pizzas and just go back to the pizza shop.Meanwhile,I called the pizza place and explained the problem.The manager got on the phone and apologized.With my customer #,he knew that I've been ordering from them for at least 5 years.He asked if I still wanted the pizzas and I said yup.As long as they weren't the first ones..In 30min.they arrived and the driver said ''NO CHARGE!!!!'' Gotta love Papa Johns !!
Friday morning,I have an appointment with the Radiation Doctor in Phx...The way things are going,I hope he can blast this thing in my head.Now I just gotta find a ride.
Again,,,anybody wanna buy some machinist tool??
Monday, January 31, 2011
Jan.31st 11
Well,the last part of the 27th was a bust,,,eyeball just started hurtin really bad,stayed in my room in the dark for the rest of the afternoon and night.
The 28th was my mother's 76th B.D... So I dropped of a card (stuck it in her front door).We dont visit much,she cant accept what going on.
Saturday,my friend Richard and I went to see my lil' brother Ron,down in Coolidge.Rich helped him install one of those attic door and ladder combos in his garage,,I just watched,Larry the dog played with Ron's dog Bailey,,they got along great!!! Thats a good thing, 'cause Larry goes to Ron when I pass.. Not much discomfort Saturday,,,the day was good !!
Sunday,,I went to lunch with My Mother,Don,and my brother Ron,all was good! We went to Red Lobster and I ate like a pig !!! I had taken a time release Morphine pill, and all was well,(a guy can get hooked on those).
When I got home,I checked on my Ins.and Soc.Sec....Yea!
Ins. was accepted,now I just wait for my card so I can get the radiation on by brain.I'm not gonna worry about my lung or colon.Just wanna be able to think straight,and all that stuff.
Soc.Sec. hasent been approved yet,They said they were expiditing my case,,(yea right)
I had homade chili for dinner and ate like a pig again.Crap !! I'm getting fat!!
Today, I'm feeling pretty good so far. Gonna see about selling my darn tools again to people I know,If no takers,I'm gonna pick them up from Jay's place and go to some pawn shops this week.A little $ is better then nothing.
It's almost 9:30 am and I've babbled too much,so take care friends.please check yourself as a follower on here so I might see who is interested in my daily thoughts.
The 28th was my mother's 76th B.D... So I dropped of a card (stuck it in her front door).We dont visit much,she cant accept what going on.
Saturday,my friend Richard and I went to see my lil' brother Ron,down in Coolidge.Rich helped him install one of those attic door and ladder combos in his garage,,I just watched,Larry the dog played with Ron's dog Bailey,,they got along great!!! Thats a good thing, 'cause Larry goes to Ron when I pass.. Not much discomfort Saturday,,,the day was good !!
Sunday,,I went to lunch with My Mother,Don,and my brother Ron,all was good! We went to Red Lobster and I ate like a pig !!! I had taken a time release Morphine pill, and all was well,(a guy can get hooked on those).
When I got home,I checked on my Ins.and Soc.Sec....Yea!
Ins. was accepted,now I just wait for my card so I can get the radiation on by brain.I'm not gonna worry about my lung or colon.Just wanna be able to think straight,and all that stuff.
Soc.Sec. hasent been approved yet,They said they were expiditing my case,,(yea right)
I had homade chili for dinner and ate like a pig again.Crap !! I'm getting fat!!
Today, I'm feeling pretty good so far. Gonna see about selling my darn tools again to people I know,If no takers,I'm gonna pick them up from Jay's place and go to some pawn shops this week.A little $ is better then nothing.
It's almost 9:30 am and I've babbled too much,so take care friends.please check yourself as a follower on here so I might see who is interested in my daily thoughts.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Jan 27th 11 B
Yesterday my lil' brother Ron came by and took me to see my good friend Jay. They got along pretty well,talked about guns and such.
Afterwards.we dropped Larry off at home and went to Country Buffet..I had 4 plates of food and a bowl of beef stew. Ron couldn't believe I could eat so much, ha,ha.ha !!
About 3:00 I started feeling tired so my day was pretty much over.
Afterwards.we dropped Larry off at home and went to Country Buffet..I had 4 plates of food and a bowl of beef stew. Ron couldn't believe I could eat so much, ha,ha.ha !!
About 3:00 I started feeling tired so my day was pretty much over.
Jan 27th 11
Well on the 12th of Jan...I went to see my Doc again...had another CT scan and got some more bad news. Looks like things are growing pretty fast,crap !! My Doc cut my time about in half.
I was wondering why my eyeball felt like someone was poking it from the inside !!
Still gaining wieght and eating like my favorite animal(pig).
Wow,,from 135 to 153 lbs in a week!!!
Well this is my history so from now on,it will the boring stuff,like every day things.
I was wondering why my eyeball felt like someone was poking it from the inside !!
Still gaining wieght and eating like my favorite animal(pig).
Wow,,from 135 to 153 lbs in a week!!!
Well this is my history so from now on,it will the boring stuff,like every day things.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Jan 25th 11 C
I got to come home on the 5th of Jan. I really wanted to get back to work,but the body said no way.
I've doing alot of reading about stage 4 and decided that I better get things in order.I gave my truck and trailor away,donated most of my clothing,sorted out personal things and gave them to friends and family.My lil' brother is even going to take my wonder dog,Larry..(back to Larry later)
Been trying to sell my tools,but no takers yet,,They need to go to someone that will use them.
Again I say,,,I'm not looking for sympathy,it's just some people wanted to know details.So this is what I'm doing.
I've doing alot of reading about stage 4 and decided that I better get things in order.I gave my truck and trailor away,donated most of my clothing,sorted out personal things and gave them to friends and family.My lil' brother is even going to take my wonder dog,Larry..(back to Larry later)
Been trying to sell my tools,but no takers yet,,They need to go to someone that will use them.
Again I say,,,I'm not looking for sympathy,it's just some people wanted to know details.So this is what I'm doing.
Jan.25th 11 B
My Nerosurgen came in and laid everything on the line. He said that some of my motor skills and coordination(eye to hand) have been damaged..Some may come back,or it may get worse.
Then he dropped the bomb,,,,,I was stage 4 and I had about 4 to 18 months to go..Awww crap!!
I'm good with GOD and not afraid of death,so all is well.
Then he dropped the bomb,,,,,I was stage 4 and I had about 4 to 18 months to go..Awww crap!!
I'm good with GOD and not afraid of death,so all is well.
Jan,25 11
Well here I am again,,
On Dec.29th.10..I went into surgery for the tumor.I woke up with a turban and a brain drain.That evening, they did another scan (complete body).The nurse that took me down for the scan,sat with me all night long,but she wouldnt tell me what she had seen.
I'll say here now that I spent 9 days in ICU and the nurses there were the nicest people I've ever met. I teased about not having beer in the hospital and then there was a can of Bud Lite with every meal !!! The cans even had a sticker with my name on them..LOL
On Dec.29th.10..I went into surgery for the tumor.I woke up with a turban and a brain drain.That evening, they did another scan (complete body).The nurse that took me down for the scan,sat with me all night long,but she wouldnt tell me what she had seen.
I'll say here now that I spent 9 days in ICU and the nurses there were the nicest people I've ever met. I teased about not having beer in the hospital and then there was a can of Bud Lite with every meal !!! The cans even had a sticker with my name on them..LOL
Monday, January 24, 2011
Jan 24 2011 B
About 8 months ago I started having little headaches,darn,I never have headaches!!! Before Thanksgiving,my head got worse and my eyes and hands did'nt agree with one another all the time..Grrrr. I started walking around like I was drunk sometimes. I stopped seeing friends and family cause I was embaressed.
At Christmas time,I spent the holiday in my room with a horendise headache,On Dec.27th 2010, I tried to go to work in Scottsdale,but I felt that driving that far might get someone else hurt.
I went to the E.R. and they did a CT scan and said that I had a bigger problem than just a headache.I was transfered to Banner Good Sam, in Phx. and put in ICU.
They had found a tumor in my brain about the size of a golf ball,,,CRAP !!!!!!!
At Christmas time,I spent the holiday in my room with a horendise headache,On Dec.27th 2010, I tried to go to work in Scottsdale,but I felt that driving that far might get someone else hurt.
I went to the E.R. and they did a CT scan and said that I had a bigger problem than just a headache.I was transfered to Banner Good Sam, in Phx. and put in ICU.
They had found a tumor in my brain about the size of a golf ball,,,CRAP !!!!!!!
Jan.24 2011
Well here we go !
As some of you know,I had major surgery a few years back for colon problems. At that time I said NO chemo nor radition,a few operations later all cancer seemed to be gone.
About 3 years ago I started feeling kind of tired all the time,I just thought it was a sign of getting older. I never told my employer because it really wasent his problem,I cut my own hours back and soon got fired, Since then I've worked part time and contract at different shops around town.
As some of you know,I had major surgery a few years back for colon problems. At that time I said NO chemo nor radition,a few operations later all cancer seemed to be gone.
About 3 years ago I started feeling kind of tired all the time,I just thought it was a sign of getting older. I never told my employer because it really wasent his problem,I cut my own hours back and soon got fired, Since then I've worked part time and contract at different shops around town.
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