I don’t want to leave you,
but if God calls me
I hope that you understand
that I can’t say no.
I will always be with you,
if you keep me in your heart
and in your thoughts,
I will never be gone.
I am fitting with all that I have to get better.
I hate this cancer,
I hate that is hurting you.
I promised you that I will be strong
and that I will fight,
but please understand
that if God calls me
I can't say no.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
A Poem
I am not going to sit and cry
Even though at this time,
the world is passing me by
Because even though I may be ill
The world is still here,
and at least I have a chance of fighting it through
It won't be long before
I have kicked its arse
And be sat looking,
proudly at my scars
These times will seem so far away
So I am not going 2 waste no more memories on a bad day! .....................Karen Liversedge 12/10/10
Even though at this time,
the world is passing me by
Because even though I may be ill
The world is still here,
and at least I have a chance of fighting it through
It won't be long before
I have kicked its arse
And be sat looking,
proudly at my scars
These times will seem so far away
So I am not going 2 waste no more memories on a bad day! .....................Karen Liversedge 12/10/10
Saturday, April 23, 2011
4/23/11
It's 9:30 Saturday night,and I'm feeling pretty good. The nurses have been playing with my medications and it seems to have done some good. At first the dosage wasen't enough and I wanted to die ASAP. Then it went too far,and I slept for almost four days straight (grrrrr). She decreased it some Friday, and when my head somewhat cleared, here I am!!! Almost ready to go dance (ha,ha,ha,)
The medication in my pac is a mixture of pain killers which includes Dilaudid every 30 minutes. Also I take a tab called Dexamethason (for brain swelling). And oh yea, heres a joke,,They give me a Happy pill every day !! (not really working).
Did anyone know that all that pain killer stuff makes you constipated? Well I do now!! Thank goodness for prune juice and milk of magnesian (16oz. + 2tbls mixed). The pills they gave me for it did't work. I'll stick with the home remedys.
I gots me a hair cut !! Nicer to take care of I guess. It dont part worth a darn tho.
The tattoos are new too, (do not resusatate)same on both sides of my neck, so the paramedics can see and understand, just let me go to my LORD !!
Looking for all these keys on here makes my eyes sore, so I think I'll sign off soon, but I like checking in here sometimes. I don't really remember all that I've written down in this blog thing. so I'm sorry if I have repeted myself a bit.
Friends,,,hug and kiss your loved ones, forgive an enemy, praise our GOD, and STAY healthy !!
Bill
(Whisper)
Monday, April 11, 2011
04/11/11
Now darn it !!!
Larry needs a loving inside new home !! He's a great doggie,house trained,has alot of training,used to go to work with me, problem is that Larry cant read nor wright,talk nor do math.(yes I'm having one of those few good days)
My Lil' brother's doggie decided that she wanted to be the alpha doggie at her home,so that didnt work too well.No falt of Ron,Bailey,Larry,no me,,just life.
My Lady friend is taking care of larry rite now,but she has 2 other doggies now.They are basicly outside doggies,and Larry is'nt.(my fault)
Where I live now, I have to take him for walks all the time and CRAP !! I can't hardly walk nowdays.
For my own heart and Larry's too. We need help!!!
He's 3 years old,around 75 lbs,hairy,white,brown,tan,and a little black.Part Aussie shepard and part Pit bull(the Aussie is the predominant one).Lays,sits,stays,fetchs,tugs,Shakes paws,stands up and boxes (both paws).
Jill has been trying to get him to talk a little,but he dosent seem to have much to say yet,But just wait,,,he will someday!
I'm not asking for $$$,,just a good home and peice of mind for us both,Please call or e-mail me if u have any questions. Or maybe just suggestions on what I may do.
BTW,today it's 4am monday and I'm doing good this morning,Hospice delevered a new machine yesterday,and some techs are going to install it today. I pray this is gonna work!! And I pray that none of you have to ever go thru this stuff!!
Remember,,hug your loved ones,rub your pets,make a new friend,make up with an enemy,and praise our LORD!!!
Bill
(Whisper)
Larry needs a loving inside new home !! He's a great doggie,house trained,has alot of training,used to go to work with me, problem is that Larry cant read nor wright,talk nor do math.(yes I'm having one of those few good days)
My Lil' brother's doggie decided that she wanted to be the alpha doggie at her home,so that didnt work too well.No falt of Ron,Bailey,Larry,no me,,just life.
My Lady friend is taking care of larry rite now,but she has 2 other doggies now.They are basicly outside doggies,and Larry is'nt.(my fault)
Where I live now, I have to take him for walks all the time and CRAP !! I can't hardly walk nowdays.
For my own heart and Larry's too. We need help!!!
He's 3 years old,around 75 lbs,hairy,white,brown,tan,and a little black.Part Aussie shepard and part Pit bull(the Aussie is the predominant one).Lays,sits,stays,fetchs,tugs,Shakes paws,stands up and boxes (both paws).
Jill has been trying to get him to talk a little,but he dosent seem to have much to say yet,But just wait,,,he will someday!
BTW,today it's 4am monday and I'm doing good this morning,Hospice delevered a new machine yesterday,and some techs are going to install it today. I pray this is gonna work!! And I pray that none of you have to ever go thru this stuff!!
Remember,,hug your loved ones,rub your pets,make a new friend,make up with an enemy,and praise our LORD!!!
Bill
(Whisper)
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
March 31st and last thoughts
This is just a few thoughts while I'm able to realize what I'm thinking and able to put them down..
Jill,,,Feb.16th,when we met again after 11 years.Has been some of the best days of my life.I still don't understand why you are here by my side.It's not my good looks nor any far flung promisied future. I love you.
Tim,,, The bestist student anyone toolmaker could hope to ever have.I know that your not folling thu with the training,but at this point and time you could keep up with some of the best. Sorry I never met your lady.
Uncle Bill,,,We have been thru thick and thin together,and it was all very good.I know that you have been calling a few times a week,but please just remember the good times.Kiss Ma Ma for me,she's a great lady..
Tanya,,We never met in person,but with a father like Uncle Bill,you just have to be a great lady..Hug those kids and your old man for me,Please..Matt 6:34
Chris,,,You have always been there for me.I whish that I could say the same,We had good times and bad.But you were in my heart.Kiss that Charlie for me and a big hug to Hoss..
Amiee,,,Ah that smile!! You have no idea how happy you made me when I would see your bright face in the morning at work..And of course those Star Bucks cookie things.
Mr.Jay,,,I think it was a God send,when I saw your add on line.I have never worked with anyone that I enjoyed so much,
Thank you for putting up with me and Larry the dog.I was soo suprised about 5&diner at the hosp. Wished we could have done it again,but health said no,,Grrr I'm gonna keep my eye on you,,hahahah
Cindy & Chris,,Great friends,good parties,nice bike,and always good thoughts,Great machinest,Keep Texas on their toes!!!
Rhonda,,,What can I say?Youve been someone special in my heart and told me to share these experiences whith those who might care.You have called at my worst times and brought me around a little.Jill likes you too.Give those doggies and your husband belly rubbs for me.
Steve,,,I didnt know you were on here ,,sorry,,I guess by now you have read my short story Now you know.Tell the guys at work Hi & bye for me,
For those of you that read this but didnt choose to follow,,thats ok,I wish you would have.
Take care and GOD bless,
Bill
Jill,,,Feb.16th,when we met again after 11 years.Has been some of the best days of my life.I still don't understand why you are here by my side.It's not my good looks nor any far flung promisied future. I love you.
Tim,,, The bestist student anyone toolmaker could hope to ever have.I know that your not folling thu with the training,but at this point and time you could keep up with some of the best. Sorry I never met your lady.
Uncle Bill,,,We have been thru thick and thin together,and it was all very good.I know that you have been calling a few times a week,but please just remember the good times.Kiss Ma Ma for me,she's a great lady..
Tanya,,We never met in person,but with a father like Uncle Bill,you just have to be a great lady..Hug those kids and your old man for me,Please..Matt 6:34
Chris,,,You have always been there for me.I whish that I could say the same,We had good times and bad.But you were in my heart.Kiss that Charlie for me and a big hug to Hoss..
Amiee,,,Ah that smile!! You have no idea how happy you made me when I would see your bright face in the morning at work..And of course those Star Bucks cookie things.
Mr.Jay,,,I think it was a God send,when I saw your add on line.I have never worked with anyone that I enjoyed so much,
Thank you for putting up with me and Larry the dog.I was soo suprised about 5&diner at the hosp. Wished we could have done it again,but health said no,,Grrr I'm gonna keep my eye on you,,hahahah
Cindy & Chris,,Great friends,good parties,nice bike,and always good thoughts,Great machinest,Keep Texas on their toes!!!
Rhonda,,,What can I say?Youve been someone special in my heart and told me to share these experiences whith those who might care.You have called at my worst times and brought me around a little.Jill likes you too.Give those doggies and your husband belly rubbs for me.
Steve,,,I didnt know you were on here ,,sorry,,I guess by now you have read my short story Now you know.Tell the guys at work Hi & bye for me,
For those of you that read this but didnt choose to follow,,thats ok,I wish you would have.
Take care and GOD bless,
Bill
Monday, March 21, 2011
march 21st 2011
This past week was bad. Health wise. Hospice has me taking more meds and morphine every hour.
When I stand up I get really dizzie, Saturday Jill helped me walk around some like I was some drunk.
Sunday, I had my first real seizure, It sucked!! Larry the dog stayed beside me all the time.Then The trowing up started,that sucks too.
I guess that the seizure is the first of many.Then the tumor will push harder against my brain, and the insainity will begin. By then.Hospice says they can keep me asleep most of the time.
I am having trouble hitting these keys some times so this might be my last entry.
Remember !!! Kiss and hug your loved ones,pet your animals,cause they love you,forgive an enemy.
GOD has a plan for us all,we dont know what it might be,,we just need to accept it and follow it.
Bill
When I stand up I get really dizzie, Saturday Jill helped me walk around some like I was some drunk.
Sunday, I had my first real seizure, It sucked!! Larry the dog stayed beside me all the time.Then The trowing up started,that sucks too.
I guess that the seizure is the first of many.Then the tumor will push harder against my brain, and the insainity will begin. By then.Hospice says they can keep me asleep most of the time.
I am having trouble hitting these keys some times so this might be my last entry.
Remember !!! Kiss and hug your loved ones,pet your animals,cause they love you,forgive an enemy.
GOD has a plan for us all,we dont know what it might be,,we just need to accept it and follow it.
Bill
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